The Do’s and Don’ts of Surviving a Bad Date
Let’s face the facts: if you’re going out on dates, you never know if you’re going to spend time with people you have no interest in seeing ever again – and vice versa. Dating is like a two-way job interview, essentially competing with several individuals for the heart of one person. Sometimes, you will be the one to become disinterested with someone and move onto the next match. Sometimes, a person you are very interested will not feel the same way, leaving you wondering which way it will go and this can happen at any stage in a relationship – while chatting online, for the first time, even after several dates or even after several months.
However, it only one mutual attraction to make the game of dating completely worth it.
So, if you will find yourself on one of these bad dates, there are a few things you can (and shouldn’t) do to survive it.
DO: Give the benefit of the doubt
It’s no secret that dates are awkward and intimidating. So, it should come as no surprise when you or your date act awkward during it. If your date is acting shy, stumbling over words, or unable to engage, your instinct might be to count the minutes until you’re home and never interact with that person again but try to understand it. As mentioned earlier- YES, dates can be awkward, maybe after the first date, the jitters would melt away, making for a much enjoyable next time.
DON’T: Post about it online
It’s easy to use Facebook or Instagram as a place to vent, but posting about your bad date is not something you should do, especially if it’s in a mocking way. Sure it may seem funny to you and your friends but think about the other person. You are pretty much telling your future matches and dates (and everyone who follows you, for that matter) that this is how you act when things don’t go your way. So, keep the jokes and the gossip offline and between friends.
DO: End it early
Sometimes a bad date is simply that in which there is no one’s fault when there is no chemistry between you two and that is perfectly okay, it’s part of dating game. If you know that things aren’t going that good, and you’re not willing to give a second chance find a way to politely end the date. Surely, you can ask a old ‘friend or family member calling you with an emergency, but that course is so played, your date will see it for what it really is. Try to be a little creative as well as kind-hearted, in your plan.
DON’T: Be the bad date
Everyone has a little quirk, such as being a little introverted on first date. Those are uncontrollable, and this will necessarily made you a bad date. Having said that there are a few things that you can easily avoid doing and otherwise make you certified un-dateable. Are you talking about yourself so much that your date barely has an opportunity to get a word in? Are you rude to the wait-staff? Do you have more of an interest in your Facebook feed than the person sitting across from you? Hold yourself to a certain standard, especially when trying to form a romantic connection.
DO: Be honest
In other words, don’t send mixed messages. If you have no interest in seeing this person again, let them know (in a polite way, of course). Don’t tell them you will text when you really don’t have any intention to do so. Life is too short to play with heartstrings. Just be honest and admit that you didn’t feel the sparks and hope they find someone who will. Yes, it will be hard to say and you may end up disappointing them. But in the end, know that it is better for the both of you.
DON’T: Give up hope
After a bad date, regardless of whose fault it is, it’s easy to feel upset. After several bad dates, it’s easy to feel fed up with dating altogether. Why waste the energy (and the money)? What you must remember is it only takes one really good date to make it all worth your while. Keep at it. Keep putting yourself out there and connecting with people. Also, try to keep in mind what might be going wrong on these bad dates. Chances are it’s not just a steady stream of misfortune. Look for the patterns – be it the kind of people you are going out with, or any bad habits you may have on or after the date – and adjust your strategy. Get out of the same routines, broaden (or narrow) your match preferences, and put yourself in a position where you’re more likely to meet someone you can form a pure connection with.
How have you survived a bad date? Let us know in the comments!